I don’t want to be Barbie, I want to dress her.
Let me explain. I don’t want to showcase having a flashy life and aesthetic. I want to help others find what they want and desire in the world of fashion and beauty.
I feel like I have come to the conclusion that maybe I am not the kind of content creator who does well being the face of any brand or campaign. I think I have great concepts and ideas but they fall short. Whats the missing piece? I think its the name, maybe its my appearance, and I don’t know. Maybe it IS the content. There is a part of my that feels like if someone more blonde, more feminine, more socially acceptable made the same exact videos and content that I did it would generate so much more revenue.
Its frustrating but its also reality. I thought it was a flex that I could come on camera bareface, acne, hair not always perfect and people to see me for who I am. I don’t think they do. I don’t think they see authenticity maybe they see mess. I know I am being hard on myself and this is not meant to be a read. Maybe it is but it feels like the truth. It doesn’t get comments, like, shares or follows.
They say comparison is the thief of joy and it is. I don’t get engagement unless I look like an elevated version of myself which is not how I look everyday. I have to do makeup, hair, nails, and look the part. Where I am in my journey as a neurodivergent person it makes it hard to conform to social expectations but I also know they exist. Maybe I am in my head but let’s go back to the barbie logic.
I think about other content creators and how they are the visuals. I think I am okay being the background character to my craft. Less face, more idea sharing. I enjoy putting together gift guides, styling, and giving people suggestions. I want to learn how to convert not only sales monetarily for myself but how to use my voice to change peoples mindsets on a person, place, or thing. I want to recommend something and people VALUE it.
I think going into 2026 I might do some shifts about how I do my content. I’m curious if it will get more engagement or will people miss me being the face of my content. Honestly, who would even care? I think we all take ourselves maybe a little too seriously because beyond our phone screens and scrolls no one cares. I think it will help me to care less.
On the flip side of all of this, I do want to be visible in ways so people know HEY I am not an AI robot. I am a real person with real thoughts and a real vision for how I want to show up in this space. I also know how important queer, black, femme, and fat visibility is. I just don’t show up marketable. In some ways I actually do because brands still reach out to me but those videos don’t convert the way I hope they do. I don’t know maybe its trust. Maybe its me. Maybe its my LACK of Maybelline.
Let’s give this thing a go. Let’s focus in 2026 for the next few weeks to months to focus on styling and recommending for others and less about front forward facing content and see where it goes…
Let me show you some examples. I want to curate more scent layering and style guides.